Let’s face it … I have a “big neck”
Long ago, when I was just through the awkward years of puberty, but still feeling the sting of shame, I had one of my annual check-ups with my doctor. I have always been self-conscious about my body because I was forever the tall girl with womanly curves while the rest of my friends still looked like young girls. I once got mistaken for an 18 year old when I was 14 to give you an idea.
Anyway, I was expecting the usual “you’re healthy, see you next year” spiel I hear every year, except this time she hovered around my neck for what felt like an uncomfortable period. She told me I was gonna have blood work done to check me for a thyroid problem. What?!?! I didn’t even know what that was and it made me super scared. Tumor, Cancer, Imminent Death? She told me not to worry, that is was common and if the results came back positive, I would just have to take some medicine to correct it. Phew!!!
Cut to… My results came in and I headed back to the doctor’s office to hear the diagnosis. Negative. Well, that was a relief, except for this…
“Well, Rebecca, the results came back negative for a thyroid problem” then a pause (one mississippi, two mississippi) “I guess you just have a big neck.”
What the f*ck?!?!?! May I remind you, bitch, that you’re talking to a young girl dealing with her new body, feelings for boys and the pressure of starting high school! Thank you, because now I had the added anxiety of worrying about how my freakishly large neck was gonna fit into my social life. I could just see it now… “Yes Bobby, I would love to go on a date with you. Do you think you have room in your car for me and my f*cking huge neck too?” I should just get used to staying home alone and learning how to make scarves the new hip accessory! Bit of advice for all the docs out there, please don’t point out any cosmetic abnormalities to emotionally fragile teenage girls when there is nothing medically wrong with them! This will just give them a complex and make them feel even uglier than they did before. I know I wasn’t dying, but would it have killed you to practice better bedside manner? My psyche would have thanked you.
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